Some Slightly Bad News

Ok, this is going to be abrupt, so brace yourselves. All Satirical Minions on the planet earth no longer exist. No, we haven't killed Evan, Stampy and Spencer. But there aren't any more minions. There are a few reasons for this. The first reason is brief and simple. Our minions weren't doing much with regards to the mainpage. Neither were we. Here's the important reason, though:

Gods are administrators of the site. We run it, and keep it going. Minions don't do any of that. They just have a title that says "I have the same privileges as most contributors, but I have this title which means I'm funnier than you." And besides, turning away minions and firing minions has NEVER been pretty. So we're getting rid of it completely.

From now on, Gods are long-term administrators of the site. All content not provided by Gods are contributed from ANYONE who wishes to submit it (assuming the content is approved as funny by us administrators).

Current minions will keep their privileges on the forums, because Evan, the only one that was really active, was doing a good job as a moderator. Since none of them were actually using their mainpage posting powers, I'm taking those away. If you're a minion, and you're sad because you can't post on the mainpage anymore/you don't have your silly title, be quiet and toughen up. If you actually HAVE anything to say, just give it to us. And if you miss your title, you really need to work on your ego problems.

Anyway, I hope this makes everything run smoother over here. If you have content to submit, give it to nick@twistedsatire.com, adam@twistedsatire.com, or alison@twistedsatire.com. A continuing thanks to Evan for being active on the forums, and to the other two minions... well, it doesn't matter because they don't go here. And now, that's ok.