The Daily Show

I was watching The Daily Show With John Stewart tonight, and there were some great lines, as always, that I felt like posting.

When talking about some of the abstinence programs George Bush is promoting:

"Well, it appears that our president really has a hard-on for abstinence. In fact, he feels so strongly about it, many of these organizations are reporting false information:

1. 50% of Gay Teens have HIV

2. Mutual masturbation can result in pregnancy. (commentary from John: Hm, thanks for the idea)

3. HIV can be transmitted through sweat and tears."

To this last one, John replied "The only way you can transmit HIV through sweat and tears IS IF IT COMES OUT THROUGH YOUR C*CK!"

Also, there was a dangerous toys segment with some other guy, and they were showing a toy manufacturer guy on CNN who had to recall a lot of dangerous toys. One of them was a batmobile with these really sharp ends, and he said to the CNN person "What do you think is dangerous about this toy?"
"Um, the pointy things at the end?"
To this, the guy replied "Really?! I was thinking there was no driver-side airbag!"

P.S. If you don't already watch the Daily Show, watch it. Now.