EverQuest 2

For those of you who don't play EverQuest, it's a big online game where lifeless, dateless, middle aged men from all over can come over to play young, Elven women... online. Oh, and kill things. For those of you who already knew that, you probably already are a young, Elven woman (online), but of course, you just did it to "see if men would hit on you, because you thought that would be funny."

Anyway, the much awaited sequal to this game has just come out. It's not surprising htat the sequal was much awaited, because the majority of people who play this game have nothing to do besides await the new one.

Those are some big swords. I think he's compensating.

EverQuest 2 packs many exciting features. Included are:

• In-game dating service, so you can meet another man, but pretend it's a woman.
• Pick from a wide variaty of fantasy creatures, so you don't even need to buy a suit to pretend you're an animal.
• Many new levels for your character, so you can stay at home even longer.
• Brand new weapons, so you can beat up mythical animals and pretend they're that bully at the office.
• New soundtrack. Just a guess, but you're probably not into Nelly.

A woman like this loves a guy with a great sense of humor and level 50 body armor.

And don't forget the ever-important gangs of EverQuest. These thugs can own your ass. Or, as they would say, "pw3nxx0r ur a$$ LOLOLOLOL ^_^"

That brings me to my next topic: the language of EverQuest. If you ever do venture into this dark realm, you'll be confronted with terms that may confuse or scare you. Let me take away this confusion.

Everquestish: "A/S/L"

English: "Hello, I would like to mate with you."

Everquestish: "i > j00"

English: "I believe I am superior to you."

Everquestish: "LOLOL j00 k1ss3d teh man j00 r teh ghey"

English: "I am 12 years old."

So congrats, EverQuesters. You can now say your character's level instead of your age when introducing yourself.