| I Fought the Ninja, and The Ninja Won |
twisted by C. Faber Demarius
Monday, October 04, 2004 |
You might remember the catchy tune, "I Fought the Law and the Law Won." Or you might not. I don't actually care. Well as long as we're on the topic, I took on a ninja... and got slapped.
So we had these 10 year old ninjas at our school today... and let me tell you, they were incredible. Anyway, after the performance, everyone went and said hi to them, offered them their virginity, etc... They let us play with their weapons, too. So I picked up the bowstaff and started playing with it, and one of the kids came up to me. So I thought, "Well, I have the advantage, because I have a large stick." So I challenged him... he got this really nasty smirk on his face, but I knew I could take him. And then he smacked me across the face. Damn...
Anyway, this inspired me to learn a few of the more obscure martial arts styles. So I came across one. Let me detail each one to you.
The Rubber Chicken Style
This style is very dangerous, for the chicken can leave a tremendous sting. It's kind of like a nunchuck. Except the firey chicken head can be incredibly intimidating.
When flung quckly, this chicken can be a deadly weapon.
Pros:
The Chicken is not only intimidating, but it's very insulting to be owned by a guy with a rubber chicken.
Cons:
You look like a retard. Especially when you lose.
The Saxaphone of Destruction
Ska bands may use it to make some funky melodies, such as Super Orgy Porno Party by The Planet Smashers, it can also be used to spar. The reed can be used to gauge people's eyes out, and the big part at the end can be used to cover someone's face, so they can't see. Then you can smack them.
Innocent little girl, or deadly assassin?
Pros:
Not only do you look like a total rude boy carrying around a badass saxaphone, you can also lay the smackdown on some foo' that doesn't want to pay for your lunch. Oh, and you can play some jazz before going into battle.
Cons:
It's a heavy load, and it's easy to scrach a saxaphone. Luckily, whoever does has another thing coming...
So we had these 10 year old ninjas at our school today... and let me tell you, they were incredible. Anyway, after the performance, everyone went and said hi to them, offered them their virginity, etc... They let us play with their weapons, too. So I picked up the bowstaff and started playing with it, and one of the kids came up to me. So I thought, "Well, I have the advantage, because I have a large stick." So I challenged him... he got this really nasty smirk on his face, but I knew I could take him. And then he smacked me across the face. Damn...
Anyway, this inspired me to learn a few of the more obscure martial arts styles. So I came across one. Let me detail each one to you.
The Rubber Chicken Style
This style is very dangerous, for the chicken can leave a tremendous sting. It's kind of like a nunchuck. Except the firey chicken head can be incredibly intimidating.
When flung quckly, this chicken can be a deadly weapon.
Pros:
The Chicken is not only intimidating, but it's very insulting to be owned by a guy with a rubber chicken.
Cons:
You look like a retard. Especially when you lose.
The Saxaphone of Destruction
Ska bands may use it to make some funky melodies, such as Super Orgy Porno Party by The Planet Smashers, it can also be used to spar. The reed can be used to gauge people's eyes out, and the big part at the end can be used to cover someone's face, so they can't see. Then you can smack them.
Innocent little girl, or deadly assassin?
Pros:
Not only do you look like a total rude boy carrying around a badass saxaphone, you can also lay the smackdown on some foo' that doesn't want to pay for your lunch. Oh, and you can play some jazz before going into battle.
Cons:
It's a heavy load, and it's easy to scrach a saxaphone. Luckily, whoever does has another thing coming...
2 Comments:
Hey I think you forgot "Office chair computer geek" style.
Pros: Anyone talks smack you can jack them up with your wireless keyboard while using your retro wired ball mouse as a type of "mace" and clock them upside thier head.
The office chair can also be used as a mode of transportation just incase you come up against a "Pasta ladle" master.
Cons: You're a geek.
-chris
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha omg thats funny "little fat girl or deadly assasin?"
heres one
FilthyRottenAngel
pros-
... still thinking... hmm seemingly there aarent any oh well not link anyone cares
cons-
get a life you dont even no the person who does this so i wouldnt be talkin shit about them if i were you.
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